Friday, June 27, 2014

Past, Present & Now

Life always seems a bit calmer on a walk. Melts my heart to see them holding hands.

Wow. Thankful for so much in our lives! It's been a very difficult, very rough year, but in so many ways it has been the most rewarding. I want to have a separate post to talk about the challenges and struggles to finally be adoptive parents. It is no easy task to say the least. Right now this is only about our two wonderful kiddos. I'm SO thankful they have such a tight brother/sister bond. Dare I say it was almost immediate? She seemed so comfortable with him the very first time they met in the hot and stuffy China Courthouse. Then in the hotel he was able to get her to smile, no wait, LAUGH for the very first time! I'll never forget it. It was our first time seeing those beautiful dimples of hers!

Daddy is showing them a sand flea. Riley was very hesitant. I love how she has one hand on Nick's head and hand for protection!

Of course they argue and fight just like any siblings, but they get along entirely better then I ever could imagined. My two beauties are exceptionally imaginative, sensitive, creative, active and sometimes a bit melancholy, especially Nicholas. Maybe they formed such a close bond because they share the same broken heart that all adoptive children share? I know for sure it's partly because they both have an extremely silly sense of humor! Thank goodness for laughter. It heals so many things in us all.

An unexpected Car Show visit! It was a tiny car show, but the kids loved it! 

I was an only child up until I was 13 years old. I remember longing for a sibling and many of my daydreams included me finding a long lost brother or sister. Finally, at the age of 13 my mom had a baby girl! A surprise to us all! My world as an only child finally changed!

Precious moments! 

We've had a wide arrange of obstacles this year. Some of the stuff we couldn't have dreamed up! I often hesitated telling anyone about our challenges because I feared they wouldn't believe me. Or worse, they would be believe me and they'd pity us. So I often kept my mouth shut. Unfortunately, most folks do not like to listen to those with a long list of troubles. Truthfully, does it really matter if anyone knows? Not really.

And ALWAYS silly!


Recently one of Nick's school mates was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. The mother happened to be our classroom mentor and she was absolutely fabulous! One of those people who you immediately like and feel at ease with. Her daughter, Olivia, is full of spunk and personality and has beautiful twinkling eyes. It was devastating news for all.

I'd have to say it changed me as a mom hearing this news. I always attempted to take things slow and to treasure those special moments like any mom. But something was different. It brought back those feelings of fear when my hubby was ill and how I felt when I was ill. The emotions I experienced then were some that brought me to my knees! I also remembered the moments of complete contentment and peace I had from living in the present. I had to live in the moment or else I'd fall apart thinking about the "what ifs." Those moments of present-ness were bliss.

Life can grab you and carry you away with its business and constant chatter! Before you know it that wonderful ability of keeping focus, that living in the moment you once cherished, is gone out the window. You're caught up in life...until one day you're brought to a screeching halt by life changing, devastating news. No one wants to be that person. I know, because it happened to me.

Thinking in the present is hard work, especially in the world that we live in. It is a constant struggle and takes practice. The rewards of this simple (but oh, so difficult!) practice is endless. It not only helps your mental and physical well-being, it helps everyone that you interact with! I can already see the difference in my children as they experience my full attention. I really, really deeply appreciate and swallow up those little smiles, giggles and excitement that comes from young children on a level that I didn't before. This isn't just for me and my children. It's also for Olivia and her mother. It's a human-beings worst fear to have a child so sick. No one knows what each days holds for us. I'm not wasting it with worry any longer. It's my duty to treasure these special moments in life. It's my job as a mom.

Olivia's Journey
Olivia's mom generously shares a journal of their journey. Please read about this amazing and brave child and her beautiful family!
Please visit at

My little gems!

I hope to be able to blog our life experiences more often! Not just about adoption, but everything. Learning, loving and living everyday.


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