Sunday, January 4, 2015
We're In Again...but not everyone is settled.
We're finally getting settled into our new place! Finally. If you've ever moved, you know this is a huge feeling of relief for us adults. But it often is not the case for our children, especially our adopted children. Change can be a gigantic, and can open up an flood gate of past emotions. Those deep, dark emotions that have no words.
As you may have read in our past posts our move was not a simple one. Yeah, but who's is, right? Moving two and half hours away, selling our house, and finding a new home was not an easy task. Thank goodness for the help of our parents whom allowed us to stay with them while we organized this multiple step move! I love you mom and dad! Thank you, dear sister, for your endless hours of entertaining my busy bees while we packed, unpacked, packed and finally unpacked again!
It was a sense of pure joy getting settled into our new place. No, it's not a dream house by the beach or a even a house for that matter. It's an apartment which I never I'd imagined we'd seek out. It's not big or new, but it's a place we can turn into a home. It's comfy. It's peaceful with views of trees and grass and possibly just as exciting, Target, Trader Joe's and Starbucks is less then a mile away! Oh yeah. I like it.
We prepped and prepared the kids for months prior to the move. It was actually a blessing to make the big move and end up at my parents' for awhile. They LOVED that. But I wasn't prepared for the changes I'd see in my children. I was relieved and ready to start fresh, but my kids were feeling it like it was the end of everything they knew.
You know how sometimes you're in so deep that you can't really get a clear view of what's going on? Especially when you're expecting all to be all honky-dory? Yep, that was me. I have contact with a wonderful post adoption social worker who lets me freely express my concerns and fears. Thank goodness. She gets it. She ever so kindly explained that maybe our kiddos were still in the honeymoon phase of the move while at my parent's home. Now the true feelings and anxieties are coming out since we're officially in our new home. Totally made sense!
Just knowing can be a tremendous help. A relief. A few days ago my son asked me how long we're staying here? I was so taken back, so surprised by his simple question. We explained numerous times what "our plan" was and even though he understood it He just needed to hear it again, loud and clear that we're staying here for a long time. He didn't need to hear that it was forever, just that he was able to let his guard down...if that's possible...but enough to let himself relax a bit.
It's not easy, especially moving two weeks before the winter break. We tried to keep the schedules tight with not much change, but no school, no work still really rocks the boat for these little ones. Tomorrow is back to the normal grind, but normal is just what the doctor ordered for this family! Cannot wait.
Reminder to self: Change takes time.